Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Life must go on

I know how it feels!

I was in love too, still am. I still am and with the very same person, that one who means the world to me and she that suffers my fate today. It hurts! It hurts to see you go through what I went through once. It pains me to see your pain. I feel what you feel, at least, I know what it feels like.

But what can we do? We're human after all. And like you and me, every human being has their own desires and their own plans. You had yours too.

You are strong, I know. You have the heart of an innocent child but the mind of a strong general in battle. You are the perfect mix of the fair and the strong. You can move mountains if you so wish. You have the faith and you have the will. Things which I don't.

Yet, you suffer. Just as I cried, you cry. Just as I despised the world, you despise it too. More dangerously, just as I wanted to ruin myself, you want to. Why?

What does all this show, other than the fact that we are miserable human beings who have deep desires but have to face the reality of putting others desires before our own?

But trust me, life goes on!

I know, I tried to end it. I tried slowly killing myself with drugs, with all vices that would take me straight to the pits of hell in your world. You think of something bad, and I've done it. Just to get over what I had for the one I love. It turned me into someone who in your own words "no one could recognise." And I wanted to be alone too. I wanted nothing to do with the world. I wanted no one. I wanted to die!

But life went on. It did not stop to let me die either. It did not let me throw the world away. Life did not leave me alone. And I'm sure life wont leave you alone too. I know for a fact it wont.

"You are the salt of the earth and a sainted. God shall seal your endeavours until you sit on his right hand. So, fight the good fight for his sake. And he shall be your aid."

These words kept echoing in my heart every time I thought of giving up. These words kept me going strong. And if an atheist unbeliever like me can take refuge in these strong words, I'm sure  you can find great support in this short verse.

No matter what, just remember what a wonderful human being you are. Remember how kind you are and what a great daughter, sister and friend you have been to all those who have loved you with all of their hearts. You are surely a saint - a saint of strength and of everything that is sweet in this world. To me you are the best and there can never be anyone better.

I write this to tell you to fight the good fight! Don't give up on life no matter what you do. Because life has not given up on you. The gift of knowing that I've a friend like you makes everytime I wake up that mush more special. And the fact that I know you will be there tomorrow to me makes every night blessed. This is the gift you are in my life. And I'm sure you bless a lot more lives just like you have done mine.

I have not given up on you. I never will. My friend, my greatest friend! I will never give up on you.

I promise you all that I have, both earthly and above.
What's perfect and what's not, and my service and my life
Because you are all to me, and you're my greatest friend
I will ask no questions, but give you all I have

That was a very bad attempt at a poem. But in any case, I'm left without words. All I will say to you is I will not leave you. Forget me, no one will let you go. Forget everyone else too. Life wont let you go. Life will carry you on and on.....